This is what happens when you are studying for two weeks straight while self-medicating with Dayquil
My fellow medical students, throw off the chains that bind you! It is time to focus not on the differences amongst us--not our chosen specialties of interest, nor our percentile ranking in the class and chances at AOA nomination. We must look beyond our membership in various interest groups and our attendance record in lectures. Indeed, even our stance on nationalized health care must be put aside in this Time of Greatness. For we stand on the threshold of change.
Those that oppress us would that we spend every weekend of the impending year locked in the library, awash in the ignorant minutiae of propaganda-laden binders distributed to us by the bourgeoisie. No more I say! No more shall we sit idly by while they test us like mindless animals regurgitating triviality after triviality! Throw off the chains and follow your great leader to the promised land! A land of clinical relevance, a land of absolutely no required attendance functions, a land of shared responsibility for education during the day, and shared adult beverages at night! Most importantly, a land with only 5 human development lectures per year and absolutely no touchy-feely humanities classes!
As your fearless leader, long ago I promised these things and more, and your ruler and his Knights of Vanquishing fought long and hard to secure these basic rights of man. Alas, the enemy hides behind the infrastructure of a society intent on marginalizing those who seek to serve humanity's ill. They bludgeon us with board exams, subjective grading, unfathomable student loans, and endless hours of residency in which we earn less than the hourly minimum wage. Only together can we hope to transform the ripples that your valiant leader has made in the Sea of Time into great Tides of Change!
I ask you all to dust off your Netters and grab your Pocket Robbins. Holster your stethoscope (you can leave your diagnostic kits behind-those will be available in exam rooms when we need them) and clean and press your short white coats, for they will be the uniform of the People's Army. Muster your courage, my dear friends, and follow me to freedom!!! For I am no longer your ruler. I stand before you now, a Man of the People!